I tried

Ok, I was determined I would not follow social norms. I would be polite and use my best communication skills, diplomacy and patience in all interactions with my partner’s family.

You know how you hear stories of ‘horror in-laws’… Well, I always thought people were being precious and slightly selfish for not getting along with people. I wasn’t going to be like these people.

However, as I’m not aiming for sainthood and as displacement of my personhood has always brought out the fighter in me, I realise that I cannot do it. I cannot get on with his family.

Oh, yes! I forgot to mention: I have a disability and, as no other people I have met before, his family have become FIXATED with this “physical” characteristic of mine. They see me only through the lens or, in their cases, lenses of disability. There must be enough “lenses” between them and me to stop a nuclear war-head. (I know that “nuclear war-heads” are now a bit passé and I’m showing my age. Perhaps I could up-date the metaphor by speculating that the “lenses” might even provide insulation from “weapons of mass destruction”). Thick……..these “lenses” are multiple and super thick!

One by one they have managed to do things that can only be categorised as anti-social. We’re not just talking the odd faux pas. No, no, these are major insults ranging from the fact that I might not be able to eat solid foods to a suggestion that my partner, when away for work, was away for ‘respite’ (Although I [through my workers] actually do most of the washing, ironing {that too} etcetera.).

So I have decided to say, “I tried” and to remove myself from all communication with them.