A Twist on Nature/Nurture 1

This post is numbered because it’s a topic on which more than one post might be written.

Over the recent Christmas/New Year/Summer Holidays – there are so many names for these particular holidays, it’s difficult to choose one, so I’ll include several – I returned to my family’s home in a rural setting. Like every rural place in that part of the country it was dry and the clouds would come tantalisingly close – make thunder even – but no worthwhile rain has yet quenched the earth.

On this property there were lots of jobs to do. You have to feed the animals dry food brought from town in the four-wheel-drive, start engines to supply them with water, check troughs, check fences, generally keep an eye on everything. All of these jobs were done with precision, routine and responsibility.

Other things were done too. The house cleaned, washing and ironing done, everyone who came to the boundary gate/door was asked in for refreshments, food or bedding for the night. Whatever their need, it was met. The same as whatever were the animals’ needs, machinery needs, and fence maintenance needs… these were met.

Nothing strange about this, it would seem, and to me there isn’t – but there’s something that has not yet been stated. The majority of this work was done by women. My sisters, on vacation from other jobs, were the ones doing the work and filling in whilst our mother, who usually does these jobs, was recovering from surgery.

There was one man permanently present – my partner – but he was a bit occupied with being my personal carer (Remember: I say I have a disability in the “about me” section.) and doing the ironing: oh the ironing!

To better understand the work and other activities, I used the often-used term “double-duty” and inquired of him as to how it was going? He asked me to teach him the “lie of the land” and we later did fencing, where I proved that one does not have to be able to do, or ever have done, to be able to instruct. I sat in the four-wheel-drive and instructed him on fixing and straining a fence.

Fixing and straining a fence is a skill that my sisters and I learned from our father and mother. In this way, we were raised or ‘nurtured’ in the skills of the land. However, if there were other men present, they might insist that ‘nature’ prevail and women sit back and let the stronger of the species, men, do the fencing (and not lift a finger to clear the table or wash-up). This is good when a post needs to be put into the ground or for heavy lifting.

But what stuck me, and what I finally understand, is that I come from a family where gender divides and work roles are all mixed up. They always have been in my family. When there was one man, one adult woman, who were a couple and young women and girl children – their 5 daughters – this is what was always going to happen. After all, the man can’t do all the outdoor tasks; and the women and girls would go through an obscene amount of wool and cotton if they sat around knitting and crocheting.

(Did I mention I hate craft?)

Although beneficial in instilling an “I/women can do anything attitude”, this lack of gender conditioning has meant that discrimination and the marginalisation mentioned in last week’s post cut the psyche deeply and are particularly obnoxious.

By exploring this microcosm of ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’, it can be argued that all women should be given opportunities to be nurtured by nature: to use their bodies to experience the satisfaction of doing physical labour for themselves and not be excluded.

Most importantly, when women are instructed in the ways of being in both masculine and feminine worlds, they become strong, smart women who can change their own car tyres and check the oil and water.