Objection

Before the objection there was a party.
Words like, “we like being married”, “it was the ‘thing to do’”, “I’d do it in a ‘hot minute’”, “we chose not to”, were said.
We came home and went to bed.

This is when “hot minute” man said,
“I know you’ve got objections to m…. but let me know when you’re over them”.

I separated,
Body and psyche became detached.
Body stayed in bed and mouth tried to murmur something sensical
Psyche was under bed, hands clasped firmly to sensory receptors going,
“no, he didn’t say that”
And yes it was a double-negative so he had said it.

Objections seemed trifling.
I’ll make the word (“W”, that is) and the state (“M”, that is) over
I’m an individual. I’ve changed things before…even got a ramp into historic buildings.
I was wrong.
I was trapped
Caught in a racing spiral of choices, bookings, shopping, congratulations, deposits, “I’ve got nothing to wear… and looking like a giant, snow-white, frothy, frilly cake was not for me!!!!!!!”

Unfortunately, I found a frock and the deed was done…
Even if it did include Judith decapitating Holofernes –
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Judith_beheading_holofernes.jpg

Nothing could shield us from the onslaught of social and economic change.

The government: “you are now the ‘property’ of your husband and he shall care for you”.
Society: “This is confusing. You wear those rings, why not shackle your ankles with ‘his’ name?”
“Your ‘will’ is null and void. We shall determine that your property goes to him if you die. Or else you should, post-haste sign another document.”
“You will also now live by the rules inscribed in ancient texts (written-by-men-to-make/keep-women-subservient).”

“No, no!”, I cried in vain – almost insane with pushing against the infliction of convention.

Time came and gradually led me/us (I guess I should write. Though plural pronouns and putting two names on things still makes me shiver.) from the event.
People forgot or came to understand that a snarl and refusal to say the words beginning with “w”, “m”, “h”, “w” (The latter being an acronym for ‘washing’, ‘ironing’, ‘fucking’, ‘etc’) was not boding well.
Mary Wollstonecraft, who kept her name, all the same, wrote a vindication that women and men should be equal and women share the knowledge and decision-making.
Tell that to the Howard government, which supports a view of society as couple-dom as sovereign [Yet will ‘feel up’ the Queen. Was he thinking, ‘She is, after all, a women and should be receptive to her hosts and subjects?’.

That’s right, I don’t like marriage and I’m glad we have resorted or reverted, whichever fits, to calling each other “partner”.
Don’t mention it in public…people who don’t know, don’t ask.
Keep our names and papers separate.
Are getting on with it, and, as a friend said “surviving”… But we’re also pretending it didn’t happen.

Post-Script: “Advice to Lovers”
Keep your love and hold it close
As something private and displayed with pride
No need have you of ceremonies grand
To contain something as free as sand
Honour each other and not society
Declare your objection, with mine,
That you and I and millions more
Shall not marry to be called names
Or watch our autonomy go up in flames


References:

Gentileschi, Artemisia. 1621 Judith Slaying Holofernes. Oil on canvas.
Wollstonecraft, Mary. 1992 A Vindication of the Rights of Women, Miriam Brody (ed), Penguin Books, London.