She didn’t know as she struggled into the, once-to-be-worn, dress that the tugging on her scalp was not caused by the tightly pulled hair and flowers on her head. She thought it was just “pain for beauty” and the anxiety having called people together to witness a ceremony. Subtly pulling, first at her hair, then at her scalp, cutting a small entry point (similar in kind to the small entry point of her vagina. They were all related to the day/event.) through her skull and accessing her neurons was the cerebraL VACUUM CLEANER.
You don’t believe her?
She had already felt the strange, draining sensation as she had been organising the aforementioned “event” but after …..she knew.
There was ‘slack’ to be taken up.
She already paid her power and gas bills. But now she had to organise the investment home loan, the legal aspects of buying a house, mortgage repayments, insurances – including medical insurance because, of course, he wasn’t – groceries, cleaning, ironing, teach him how to cook or give him a reliable recipe book.
She was beginning to feel the strain and the drain on her brain. This having a live-in partner was like having a vacuum cleaner attached to her brain. He started using her brain power and it was like a cerebraL VACUUM CLEANER. When they bought a car, and she bargained the sales person down, it was sport. But when it came to house, loans and life he was sucking her brain dry.
Not her body. Not her sexuality. Not her creativity. It was her he drained.
She tried to instruct him, so he could share the thought-processes needed to progress their life together. But then she became ‘principal doer’ … and instructor, too. So she tried to lead him along. It was hard work and sometimes led to sheer physical exhaustion, where she would just feel that the cerebraL VACUUM CLEANER had sucked her energy levels dry.
It also made her less creative because she had less energy. Doing the “life stuff” as in “Women Do” http://womenandthought.blogspot.com/2006/12/women-do-now-im-trying-really-hard-not.html, took a lot of energy. Yet, she seemed able to produce more energy and started this blog www.womenandthought.blogspot.com
Life continues and she clings to her feminism. Therefore, when he forgot three things in a row, it was like “three-strikes and you’re out”.
They talked it through and he committed to try to live more “in the moment” and remain connected to the real world.
If this sounds like your world, there is a way ahead. All relationships are continuous negotiations and you can say, “no, we need to share the load”.
Showing posts with label buying home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buying home. Show all posts
Monday, 19 March 2007
Sunday, 21 January 2007
Women thinking about money…$$$$
A long time ago when flowers grew in the bottom of every garden – alongside the tomato and bean bushes, lettuce plants and cabbage, beside the dunny but in front of the clothes line, to try and mask the dunny smell – women might not have had to think of money. Most women had “men”/”husbands” and, if they didn’t they were spinsters who lived with their parents (fathers - men) or their married sister/s who had “men”/”husbands”.
It was these “men”/”husbands” who thought about money. They earned the money; dictated how it was spent; organised housing or shelter (which the women duly decorated and made liveable on the money they were given for the purpose). Men bought and sold cars, houses, investments.
Women kept their heads nicely in the sand and remained ignorant of money. Mostly they were lucky and were not left in debt by deserving men.
But…… there came a time when women wanted more than household slavery and child-bearing. The feminist revolution (remember that…………aahhh – a wistful sigh) woke them up and women realised the connections between money and power.
Present
That was the past and this is now.
Women do think about money. Or, if they don’t, they should, because as the “Women’s Institute for Finance Education” www.wife.org so aptly state it on one of their bumper stickers: “A man is not a financial plan”.
Women need to start thinking about money in High School. Will they be able to afford to go to university? What kind of job do they want? Where do they want to live and with whom? Do they want a car? Life now demands that you plan your finances very carefully.
And yet, women are still losing out and ending up with sexually transmitted debt http://www.wire.org.au/womensinfo/women_and_debt.php when relationships break up. Women are also not always taking full control of their own or shared finances.
There are, however, some women who are sharing the financial decision-making, making their own financial decisions, or taking the leading role in making decisions for the partnership/relationship in which they share financial interests.
This, after all, would seem quite logical [Yet is still “radical” and unthinkable for some men.] as women now earn money, pay bills, organise childcare, or health insurance, or other related expenditure. Women have their names on mortgages and loan documents and need to be keeping an eye of their future. Women are also more likely to exercise discipline and scrutinise financial transactions then men.
So let’s continue thinking about money and have more financial successes, similar to those of the Grameen Bank, founded by Muhammad Yunus, who received The Nobel Peace Prize 2006 http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/2006/yunus-lecture-en.html . This bank lends to women in poor countries to enable them to establish business and become financially independent. Demonstrating the financial responsibility of women is the fact that very few ever default on their loan.
This is proof that when women think about money, or have the opportunity to exercise financial responsibility, they take the matters seriously and can succeed.
References:
The Women’s Institute for Financial Education http://www.wife.org/ accessed 21/1/07
Women and Debt http://www.wire.org.au/womensinfo/women_and_debt.php accessed 21/1/07
Mohammed Yunus – Nobel Lecture http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/2006/yunus-lecture-en.html accessed 21/7/06
It was these “men”/”husbands” who thought about money. They earned the money; dictated how it was spent; organised housing or shelter (which the women duly decorated and made liveable on the money they were given for the purpose). Men bought and sold cars, houses, investments.
Women kept their heads nicely in the sand and remained ignorant of money. Mostly they were lucky and were not left in debt by deserving men.
But…… there came a time when women wanted more than household slavery and child-bearing. The feminist revolution (remember that…………aahhh – a wistful sigh) woke them up and women realised the connections between money and power.
Present
That was the past and this is now.
Women do think about money. Or, if they don’t, they should, because as the “Women’s Institute for Finance Education” www.wife.org so aptly state it on one of their bumper stickers: “A man is not a financial plan”.
Women need to start thinking about money in High School. Will they be able to afford to go to university? What kind of job do they want? Where do they want to live and with whom? Do they want a car? Life now demands that you plan your finances very carefully.
And yet, women are still losing out and ending up with sexually transmitted debt http://www.wire.org.au/womensinfo/women_and_debt.php when relationships break up. Women are also not always taking full control of their own or shared finances.
There are, however, some women who are sharing the financial decision-making, making their own financial decisions, or taking the leading role in making decisions for the partnership/relationship in which they share financial interests.
This, after all, would seem quite logical [Yet is still “radical” and unthinkable for some men.] as women now earn money, pay bills, organise childcare, or health insurance, or other related expenditure. Women have their names on mortgages and loan documents and need to be keeping an eye of their future. Women are also more likely to exercise discipline and scrutinise financial transactions then men.
So let’s continue thinking about money and have more financial successes, similar to those of the Grameen Bank, founded by Muhammad Yunus, who received The Nobel Peace Prize 2006 http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/2006/yunus-lecture-en.html . This bank lends to women in poor countries to enable them to establish business and become financially independent. Demonstrating the financial responsibility of women is the fact that very few ever default on their loan.
This is proof that when women think about money, or have the opportunity to exercise financial responsibility, they take the matters seriously and can succeed.
References:
The Women’s Institute for Financial Education http://www.wife.org/ accessed 21/1/07
Women and Debt http://www.wire.org.au/womensinfo/women_and_debt.php accessed 21/1/07
Mohammed Yunus – Nobel Lecture http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/2006/yunus-lecture-en.html accessed 21/7/06
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